From soul to soulless: The best and the worst of Granada's nightlife

We have experienced the best and the worst of Granada's nightlife, in one night and with the same group of friends.

As always we begin with the positive, and so to cool Airplane-themed bar Aterriza Como Puedas ("Land however you can") with DJ Oscar. On certain Saturday nights he plays funk and soul 45s to a small but appreciative crowd on a downstairs dance floor.

Oscar effortlessly mixes classics like Gloria Jones' Tainted Love with more obscure Northern Soul numbers and a whole host of funk and disco records. It works well. Beats are matched. Everybody dances. When the bar starts to close at 4 am, everybody complains and demands 'one more tune'. This is always a good sign.

All that's needed here is a later finish and better advance publicity. It's obvious that Oscar puts the hours in. He has real talent and a record box to die for. His mate Jesús has also played at the same bar, and he too needs more exposure. (How about a Soul Allnighter sometime, lads? Watch this space!)

And so to Sugarpop, the lamest disco I have ever inadvertently stumbled into. The only positive things to say about this place are that the staff and crowd are friendly and that the central heating seems to work okay. The music is 'una mezcla' (a mixture of everything - as if this could ever be a good idea): imagine terrible rock and pop records from the 1980s and 1990s, including worthless B-sides, played in no discernible order at half-volume and with a nice gap between each one.

Whoever is choosing these records has no idea how music works or even what tunes will keep drunks happy. The 'sound system' is barely audible with no bass element whatsoever, and it's quite possible that the playlist is fixed in advance and played straight from a tape.

Look, at 5 am on a Sunday in a place where you have to pay to get in, the only music being played should be excellent dance music of one kind or another, not this lame shit. Question: How can someone who has clearly never danced to anything be allowed to work as a DJ? Does he or she get paid for this?

During a wasted hour at Sugarpop I heard just two or three ostensibly good records - something by the Killers, something by the Jam - but A Town Called Malice followed after a short pause by some heavy metal number and then by Friday I'm in Love by the Cure is just not funny.

Don't get me wrong, I've been to many kitsch Spanish clubs before (and, indeed, Chinese ones) where everyone laughs and dances along to native pop and daft songs by the Buggles and Gloria Gaynor; not my cup of tea but in those places everyone has a good time, for sure. And it's good sometimes to not take music too seriously (right, Ol?).

Sugarpop, however, is just a room full of bored people waiting for something to happen, with the world's crappiest jukebox for a DJ. I've had more fun waiting for a bus in the rain. If you visit me in Granada and I suggest going to Sugarpop 'for a laugh', take me outside and shoot me. But make sure I introduce you to DJ Oscar and his friends first! GG

Aterriza Como Puedas is on c/ Lavadero de las Tablas, (off c/ Tablas) and just 2 minutes' walk from Plaza Trinidad, central Granada. There is a separate bar upstairs and they sometimes show short films too.

Sugarpop is somewhere nearby, but who cares? Just stay in instead and randomly search YouTube for old pop videos: it's loads more fun and free, too.

Sun and Snow - on to the peaks of the Sierra Nevada

The Sierra Nevada. At last. As you can see we didn't even wait to put a blog entry on to put the photos up. We have glimpsed it from afar almost every day we've been here. You can see it on the horizon from the very centre of the city. And at last we got up there and stamped our feet into the snow. And it was good, very good indeed. Even the sunburn.

We caught a bus that took 40 minutes to take us up to Pradollano, the 70's ski resort town on the highest road in Europe. Pradollano itself is at 2100 metres above sea level.

We didn't go skiing, or snowboarding. We had a beer, took a microbus up as high as we could and walked past all the sledgers and people picnicking next to their cars on the roadside (why would you do that in a place like this? They had their own tables and chairs and... everything). After fifteen minutes' walking we couldn't hear a single person or car horn or expletive.

Then we had lunch and cups of real tea looking out over the valley towards Guejar Sierra. Lacking crampons, we crunched through the snow following footprints that told us we wouldn't fall off a cliff edge or into a ravine. Later we went back down into town and had pizza.

It's a good life. ES

Monachil - 30 minutes away and 1 euro on the bus...

Last weekend we headed up to Monachil, a pueblo on the outskirts of Granada. On the outskirts of the village, walking up towards Los Cahorros gorge, there is a smallholding where we encountered the techno goats last October.

Unfortunately the goats weren't there this time (maybe they were at a rave?) although we did meet a man leading a donkey laden with hay. That was quite country.

Los Cahorros is stunning. Rocky outcrops, a deep valley with a river winding through it and a pretty scary suspension rope bridge. After the rope bridge is a path that sticks out from the sides of the gorge with the river on the other side. It's not high, it's not deep but there are bits that you have to climb round or under, and La Cueva de las Palomas (the cave of the pigeons/doves - depending on how romantic you like your names to be) to pass through. It's ace!

Then you reach the valley, from where there are a variety of walks high and low, forest or mountain (or both). We headed up and found a high meadow to have lunch, a doze and be stared at by a billy goat.

On our way back we bumped into a Scottish lad who takes mountain bike tours up into the hills around Monachil. Looked like a lot of fun, I think we'll be popping in to see him at some point.

Incidentally it was fiesta weekend in Monachil, and although we didn't stay for the festivities we were told that one of the highlights was the climbing the greasy pole to win a pig competition. We ain't in Barcelona now... ES

More photos of Monachil

From the Alhambra into the countryside

One Saturday in January we got up too late to go for the walk we had hoped to do. So a bit grumpy about that, we set off to go somewhere, anywhere that was a bit out of the city.

With a map in hand we set off towards the Alhambra, hoping to find a pleasant walk up beyond the Alhambra hill. And what a walk we found!

All grumpiness was forgotten when faced with incredible views of the Sierra Nevada, and the way the blue of the sky contrasts with the red soil and the peculiar green of olive trees. Here are some more pictures. Need I say more? ES

The Spaghetti Harvest of 1957

For my students, here is the original BBC film of 'The Spaghetti Harvest' that fooled so many people back in 1957. Listen for key vocabulary from the reading text.

The Techno Goats of Granada

When they're not chilling out with their mates Dog and Hen, they party hard. They know how to dance, too...

"Anticipated purchase of entrances"

La Caixa is Spain's biggest bank. Its name is in fact Catalan, not Spanish, and the company pushes a modern, international image. The display on their cash machines informs you - in lots of different languages - that their staff speak, er, lots of different languages, including English.

A printed notice in my local La Caixa branch here in Granada reads:

"PURCHASE OF ENTRANCES ALHAMBRA AND GENERALIFE

One inquires that the anticipated purchase of entrances to the Alhambra and Generalife can be made through: internet or telephone (not in the offices of La Caixa).

The entrances will take shelter in the terminals of sale and collection that Serviticket has placed in the enclosure of the Alhambra, in the zone of the ticket offices.

The purchase of entrances for the same day, will only be able to become in the ticket offices or the terminals of sale and collection of the enclosure."

Well, at least that's clear.

In its favour, it's worth mentioning that La Caixa runs a social fund and also refuses to support bullfighting, which many other banks do sponsor.

I've written to La Caixa's head office to ask what their notice means, and whether they need an interpreter to write their English language material for them here in Andalucia. I'm expecting an interesting response, which of course I will share with you... GG

¡Feliz año nuevo! / Happy New Year!

Fantastic visuals, a live violinist and very sexy dancers, and superb techno and house all night until after 8 am on January 1st. That was the Buho/Ministry of Sound's Nochevieja in Granada.

After seeing in the New Year with fireworks in Granada city centre, we arrived at Sala Industrial Copera just after 1 am. Will I ever learn how time works here in Spain?

Of course, we were so early arriving that the place wasn't even open; we could see the staff inside still setting up equipment. We had to wait around outside in the cold for another half an hour.

Whereas midnight is all-important on New Year's Eve in the UK, here it just doesn't have the same importance. What matters is the party afterwards - and it doesn't get going until much, much later.

In this case, the club filled up and really got going at about 3 am. Yes, I should know this by now - but then again, why was the event advertised as taking place on '31 December'?

It was a lovely event, with a faultless sound system and top DJ-ing from Chris Lake, Toni Rojas, Noe Morillas and Juanjo Muñoz, but here I mention some niggles:

Once I'm in the toilet cubicle and the door is closed, whatever I'm doing in there is my business (in this case, number 2s). Industrial Copera's bouncers feel they have the right to force open the door (this being Spain, there are never locks on toilet doors, nor toilet paper either) and despite my very vocal protests they insisted on coming right on in to have a look at what I was doing. A very weird experience, and, I'm sure, not policy at Ministry's London home.

Nor in Britain will you find a club these days without free water available at the bar - a shame this can't be said for Spain where this dangerous, penny-pinching and very silly rule is still the norm.

And yes, I'm getting older and many of the clubbers I see look young to me - but here there were quite a few who were clearly well under 18 years old; this I couldn't help but notice on our last visit to the same venue, too.

In any country, keeping out children, employing firm but friendly staff, keeping toilets decent (and private) and giving out free water are the basics of good clubbing and the management should focus on these, rather than on hassling people on the toilet. 'This is Spain' is no excuse, not in 2008.

Of course, we had a great time, as you can see from our video above! The year starts well. Don't forget to vote in our dinner-guest poll, top right. We need to know. GG

Last year's Scots' Christmas Conga to the theme of the A-Team video is here - take a look!

Rocket Festival - we'll be there!

The Rocket Festival takes place here in Granada in May 2008. We'll be there, why not join us? Come and visit, start the festival season early and get some sun.

The lineup so far is excellent, 2-Tone fans are in for a treat and everyone will have to fasten their seatbelts... For latest details, see the Rocket Festival page. GG

Look, mountains! Come with us?

To all our friends:

In August 2008 we'll be hiking in the Sierra Nevada mountains. Would you like to join us? Hill-walking experience and the right gear are required. We'll arrange to stay in refugios (mountain hostels) and we might be camping too. You'll be able to stay at our flat in Granada before and after the trip. Let us know if you're interested! GG

'The Boss' or Boss Sounds? You decide...

'All Reggae to the People' featuring the Aggrolites was truly an excellent night out - we danced our asses off for 5 hours solid. The four bands played fast, energetic versions of famous ska numbers like The Wailers' Shame & Scandal and Symarip's Skinhead Moonstomp as well as all their own new songs.

And what a friendly, well-dressed crowd! Lots of rudeboy / rudegirl style and black-and-white gear, lots of mods and punkis. Sala El Tren (The Train club) is an excellent venue, too: no problems there with the sound system (guys at Afrodisia please take note and get some decent speaker cable...)

The Aggrolites have toured with Madness, and seeing them here was (so I imagine) like being in Camden's Hope and Anchor to see Madness in 1979: "Even the walls were sweating", etc.

Outside in the street there was a street party before and after the gig: kids in camper vans with the original 1979/1980 albums by Madness and The Specials playing loudly into the night. Nice.

PS: On our way home, our taxi driver explained that "reggae is for young people" and told us that he preferred Bruce Springsteen and Dire Straits. Here the conversation faltered, though I did find out that our driver was just two years older than I am. Luckily for everyone, he didn't put on a tape of El Boss for us to make a comparison. None is possible. These days I have a much more eclectic taste in music, but I still reckon that ska rules and Dire Straits really sucks. GG

Censorship returns to Spain

As a young boy I was an huge fan of Krazy Comic and Monster Fun (and no, NOT the Beano or the Dandy: why do people always say that? Do they even remember the 1970s?).

But these titles and many more were sadly merged into oblivion, and ever since the mid-1980s there's been a hole in my life.

That hole has now been filled by El Jueves, the Spanish satirical magazine which for 30 years has poked fun at the establishment. Somewhere between both Viz and Private Eye, but in fact much better than either, El Jueves has a genuinely political outlook: 'the news you never see on TV' is one feature.

It's great for language learning and extremely funny, and I now look forward to El Jueves with the same anticipation that, back in the day, I used to reserve for the 32-page comic high that was Whizzer and Chips.

In June 2007 a front cover of El Jueves showed another hole being filled: a cartoon of Spain's crown prince Felipe having sex with his wife, Letizia, and commenting on the long-awaited socialist law which gives new parents one-off grants ('baby cheques') to help them provide for their new babies.

“Do you realise that if you end up pregnant,” Felipe says to Letizia, who is kneeling on the bed in front of him, “this will be the nearest thing to work I've ever done in my life.”

This was all too much for Spain's ruling class. A judge ordered the police to confiscate all copies of the popular revista (it was reissued with a different cover) and the two cartoonists were charged with 'insulting the honour of the royal family'. In November 2007, they were fined 6000 euros for this 'crime'.

In few other places in earth is a royal afforded such protection, and this is the first time in 20 years that the law has been used to censor a magazine. Even the traditionally conservative Spanish press came out in favour of the cartoonists and their right to free speech.

So here's the offending front cover for all to see, and I would remind the reader that the only person who ever voted for the royal family here in Spain was Franco.

As elsewhere in Europe, the royals here exist on borrowed time, and don't they know it. Many a true word is spoken in jest, and to its cost El Jueves has hit the nail right on the head.

PS: Check your attic: I will pay real money for a copy of the Whizzer and Chips comic from Spring 1979 that has my joke printed on the letters page... GG